Christmas/post Christmas road trips/ the NEW YEAR!

Christmas 2017 was so much fun. Crew being 1 year old didn't quite understand much of what was happening but he loved being with people and was a little trooper taking naps in random places on Christmas eve and on Christmas day. He got this stuffed Lion from my mom which he is OBSESSED with and tons of new cute "brain" toys from his grandma peg. I got him a lot of boring books haha but he actually really loves books. I think he'll end up liking them. Grandma Pat got him blocks, a sports toy, and tons of other toys. He was SPOILED. And I have no clue where it will all fit in my house. He'll love it though.

We had a new Christmas dinner with assorted soups and salads and wheat rolls. We are all trying to eat healthier which we all need to be so I'm glad for that. We also got to present this hilarious video we filmed at the crack of dawn in 2 degree weather in Snohomish in hick clothes for my grandpa and it was well worth it. It was actually super fun creating it haha. OH and I almost forgot! We got to talk to TANNER! It was the best. I felt bad for him cause he got to watch the video we made without him :( but he comes home SO soon. I can't wait for the gang to all be back together again. And for him to get to hang with my baby and meet him in person finally. It'll be the greatest. ALSO, Jake taught Crew how to walk and he took like 5 steps by himself. <3

Post Christmas road trips were super great! Except for the time on the road haha Crew is just at that hard age where he doesn't love being rear facing in the car for 5 hours. Makes sense. We headed to Ephrata the 26th which was only supposed to be a 2.5/3 hour drive. It took FIVE (crying face). Luckily Crew (who was sick like 24 hours earlier) was an angel. He slept for like two hours and just hung out after that. We ate in Ellensburg at The Palace (not the best food we've had) then went to Ephrata. Such a tender mercy that Crew was good for that. 

In Ephrata we got to say goodbye to a family friend of Damon's (Tucker) who is headed off on a mission soon. He's going to Ohio (near Tanner). We, of course, ate at TimeOut which didn't disappoint. Then we got to hang with Mag, Anna, and the Hansen crews. It was good seeing them all! Crew slept better there than he did over Thanksgiving which was nice. 

After Ephrata, we went up to the Lake. It's a pretty drive! It was a super relaxing time there. Just my parents and us three. Crew had a hard time sleeping there which was extra hard on Damon because Crew mainly only wanted him at 3am and 6am (sorry Dame). I got a lot of rest actually! haha Except on the day Dame needed to drive us home (i'm not that mean). One of the days we drove to town to rent a movie and we had to stop 3 or 4 times for families of DEER! It was so cool. I really love the wildlife up there. Unfortunately, we saw one deer... well one half of a deer out on the ice with its guts exposed. The next day we drove the quads out to see it and my dad drove on some thin ice and (we thought) almost sunk in the water but I guess it was super shallow anyways. It was scary then, super funny now haha. The next night Crew had a nightly waking and I heard this meow moan sound. I look out the window and have Dame come check it out too. We spot an animal on the ice. Wow I sound like I'm the narrator to Planet Earth right now haha. Anyways, we see this animal and assume its either a coyote or a cougar. Which we think most likely killed the poor bambi still chilling on the ice (that will soon turn into the lake water we let our children swim in). Hopefully other animals will take it away from the water for us. 

It really was a fun trip though. The ride home was pretty good! Crew slept all the way to Wenatchee which is about 2.5ish hours which was really nice. Then we ate at this super good place called McGlinns. It was SO good. I got this BLT thing and Damon got this yummy chicken burger and we shared the most amazing Peanut Butter Cheesecake pie. It was so delicious. Crew had a harder time after that in the car but we finally made it home! 

New years eve is tonight! Goals for me: not as many sweets until the Cruise (except on my birthday of course), and to get more mentally and spiritually healthy. Goals for Damon: enjoy life with the family even more. Goals for Crew: LEARN TO WALK haha He actually made such good progress this last weekend at the lake!

12.31.17

its almost CHRISTMAS

It's almost Christmas and I thought my little guy would be walking by now! hahahah I think its so funny how fast he crawls and just how fast he gets anywhere. He slides down the stairs seriously so quicky. He straightens his arms and legs and just slides on down. I try to get him to practice walking and he just bends his knees to crawl haha. He walks more with Chelsi than me! Thankfully, he is starting to stand all by himself so I think he is getting closer. We have a family trip planned in January and we thought for sure he would be walking but who knows honestly haha.

Lately I've been trying to get all healthy and whatnot. I did not realize how much nursing was helping me out with staying small! Once I stopped nursing I gained like 5 pounds super quick. Hopefully I can lay off the sweets but its SO hard this time of year. It's also hard trying to determine what is and isn't healthy. All the sudden meat is like bad for you according to some people! And the world renowned What the Health Documentary says that eating 1 egg a day is as bad for you as smoking 5 cigarettes a day. I still eat eggs, and chicken, and I'll probably still eat ground turkey too! We'll see if I get lung cancer.

We are almost all done with the little sickness that hit our ENTIRE family. It'll be perfect timing for Christmas!

winter sickness

Crew came down with a sickness a couple days ago. He had a runny nose then that night we went to WildLights at the Zoo so that probably didn't help much. Whoops. He loved it though.

Ever since I heard that uncured strep can be really bad for your lungs, I've brought Crew in to make sure he only has a cold and not strep. This time when we brought him in, the nurse took the test by choking him with a cotton swab and he threw up! It was so sad. Already not feeling well with a fever, cough, and runny nose and then he threw up. Thankfully the strep test came back negative! I caught the same sickness and my throat is super scratchy so I'm glad that I can be at rest that it isn't strep.

We were planning on heading over to Ephrata to see Damon's family this weekend. We like to go over there to celebrate the holidays with them before Christmas. Unfortunately, the pass was really really snowy. We just aren't willing to risk taking that dangerous drive. It worked out because I doubt they would want us there anyways because we all got sick! 

This Christmas season has been good so far. We got to bring warm cookies over to the neighbors with a Light the World Card the missionaries gave us, we got to feed the missionaries chicken pockets and peppermint bark, we got to write letters to some people we haven't talked to in a while, we sent out Christmas cards, we got to bring Crew to visit Santa, we brought some clothes to the DI truck, I got to take my friend to her OB doctors appointment who actually ended up having her baby that day, and since then, we've been sick so hopefully once we get better we can continue making this Christmas season special.

Crew has brightened my Christmas season so much. It has been a rough couple months due to some personal trials but his little scrunch face smile just lightens my world every time. He is such a little dancer too. He dances to all of his toys that make noise, to tunes playing in the store, and to anything we put on. He in particular has really loved when I play Taylor Swifts country albums haha. 

We can't wait to talk to our missionary in a week and can't wait for him to come home in MAY!

12.18.17

oh my ... personality has arrived

My little sweetie is now only a little sweetie when he wants to be. He has opinions now! When he doesn't want to be held by you he will push your face away (pretty much hit you in the face). When I tell him "no no" he doesn't know what to think of it. Sometimes he laughs at my reaction to it and does it again. Sometimes he gives me the very intense eyebrow glare. I'm not sure what to do with this guy. I think maybe I should just ignore him but thats not really teaching him anything about "hitting."

Most of the time Crew is really happy! He is seriously so hilarious lately. He has another new face where he pushes his lips together and tries to blow raspberries. He doesn't really hit that much anymore (I wrote that first paragraph a week ago).

He is getting more and more mobile too! He will stand for a couple seconds and will really scale the furniture.

Sleep is going semi okay! He recently has changed from two naps to one nap. He has been sleeping pretty well at night too so I'm hoping he is now comfortable will a longer wake time. (He's been sleeping through the night ever since he was about 1 years old).

He loves climbing the stairs, going in a room, and closing the door. He is still OBSESSED with his dad. He loves going outside and looking at lights. He's the best.

Lately, we haven't been up to much! Crew and I did some swim lessons. He was so fun! He loves the water.

We did go to Ephrata for Thanksgiving. Traveling during the day was a mistake. Crew really did not like being in the car seat for that long. He didn't take a nap in the car until the last 20 minutes of the trip either. We arrived to Ephrata and it was great. Night time wasn't too bad. He slept for an hour or two in the pack and play but then was up throughout the night. He ended up sleeping with us which didn't last too long. It wasn't as bad as it sounds! The next day was good too! I made a pie with Peggy and dinner was yummy. We ended up having to leave that evening because it was going to snow on the pass the entire night. Traveling at night was the way to go! Crew almost slept the whole time but woke up a couple times upset. It was a lot better than the way there.

We went for a little walk around the neighborhood to show Crew the Christmas lights. Crew LOVES looking at them. He's so cute.

12.06.17

real life

I have something called the BRCA2 gene (found out when I was 18). Long story short, it gives me a 90% chance I'll get breast cancer if I don't take the necessary precautions. Prior to the beginning of this year the youngest person in our family to get that cancer was 33 years old. They (the doctors) advise you to get your mastectomy at least 3 (maybe 5?, can't remember) years before the age of the youngest person who got cancer.

In result, I thought I had until I was around 30 to have and nurse my kiddos (I'm only 22). Then maybe I couldn't nurse the last one, I hadn't really thought about that being a big deal since it was all so far away. Fast forward to this year and my 27 year old cousin found a 1 cm lump in, I believe, her Right breast. That changed everything.

 At first I thought I had a couple years before the surgery still, then even thought of having and nursing another kid before the surgery. After praying and contemplating all of this, it just didn't feel right. I decided I needed to have the surgery before my next baby.

I recently scheduled my MRI (the test you have to get before you meet with any surgans to see if you are all clear of cancer as of now) for November 8th. SO... from that, I stopped nursing. My last night was October 25th. I'm not going to lie, it's been a rough couple of days. It makes me really sad to know that I will never nurse again. That this stage of my life is over. That I'll never get to give my baby the best food it could have for the first year or so of its life. It's also been hard to think that the milk I could produce is going to waste almost. But I need to be as empty as possible for the MRI. Thankfully, I haven't had much pain since stopping. Another really nice blessing is that Crew hasn't really seemed like he's missed it much.

Almost the day I stopped, he started teething. He's needed Tylenol at least two times a day and usually wakes up once at night where he needs another dose. I feel so bad for the guy. OH! And we took away his binky recently too haha. Poor baby is going through a lot of changes. He's turned to loving his little bunny now so I'm glad he has something else to sooth him.

Anyways, after all of this going on our family has another trial we are going through (that isn't Internet appropriate). So it is kind of all bringing me down. It makes me feel so guilty for not being the best mom I can be. I'm not as happy or fun and once surgery comes I'm not going to be much of anything! It makes me so bummed writing about it all.

BUT this way I will be ALIVE for a long time!! I won't find out I have cancer when I'm pregnant and have to die to save the baby, I won't have to start nursing then stop abruptly because I find a lump, I won't (hopefully) ever have to have Chemo or radiation and have to be out of commission for months and months like my cousin. This really is the happiest, safest route. The short term thoughts may be down, but the long term are up! This is a good thing. I'm also so glad that I know I have the gene and that I'm the youngest girl in the family so far with it. My cousin and sister do all the hard things before me. I really am blessed.

Hopefully Crew will forgive me for the struggle it is to be a happy fun mom. I will try to make up for it once it's all over. 💕

10.29.17

MY BABY IS ONE.

I honestly don't even want to write this right now because I don't want to believe that TODAY HE IS ONE YEARS OLD. One entire YEAR. Who said he could already be 1? Thats only 17 away from 18 years old. Someone press pause.

Accomplishments:
Crew is crawling and loving it! He doesn't seem to need to walk yet which is totally fine with me. He has just two teeth still hahah but he's starting to drool a lot more so I'm guessing that he is growing some more in there. He is saying words: dad da da, hi dad, mom, momma, duck, book, dang it, and other random things we ask him to say. It's adorable.

He loves:
The bath! He loves books and holding them all by himself. He loves loves loves his dad. He gets SO excited when he comes home from work, its the best. He loves his cousin Aubrey, my mom, and his auntie Chelsi. He loves eating food. He has recently started throwing it which is a lot of fun. He loves his toys that make noise and sing. He dances to them or taps his leg to the music. He loves animals: he chases my mom's cat Winston every chance he gets. He also played with Trevor's brother's dog and loved it so much. He loves his stuffed animals too, he gives them each kisses on their noses.  When he kisses them he goes "mmmmmmmm aa!" He also loves to open his mouth SUPER wide when he's smiling haha when you think it can't go wider, it does! It's hilarious. He also LOVES to climb all the way up the stairs. He thinks its hilarious when I don't notice him going up and then see him and go try and catch him.

He doesn't love:
The fact that I'm weaning him off the pacifier. He doesn't love drinking water at all. I have a really hard time getting him to drink anything! So we are pretty reliant on purees and nursing for liquids. He doesn't love when people scare him or loud noises. He is still pretty sensitive, but doesn't cry when he gets upset, he makes this super not nice face. He furrows his eyebrows like I've never seen before. He does it to me a lot and it makes me sad! But it's really cute when he does it to other people haha.

Food wise:
He has big people food and lots of purees still. I only nurse him in the morning and at night. I am ready to wean him off nursing because I need to get some surgery done soon BUT he doesn't drink any water! SO I feel like I have to keep nursing him until he drinks from a cup.

Sleep wise:
He still takes two good two hour long naps. It's beautiful. At night, he is still waking up. Before yesterday, I was going in once or twice a night to give him his binkie that he threw out of the crib but as of yesterday, I'm done with that. We stopped the giving him a binkie and he's actually not doing too bad. Hopefully not having a binkie will help him learn to sleep through the night soon!

He is so much fun. Seeing his personality come out is the best. I love that part of him getting older; I get to know him even more. I do miss a newborn, of course, but I can have more of those!

<3

10.18.17

ELEVEN months!

My little angel is eleven months old now (TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE EMOJI). He is such a cute little guy. Seriously, I'm already nervous for when he's a teenager and a lady killa.

He is so smart! He can now climb up, and down (yay) anything. He gets really excited when he climbs up the stairs. He gets really excited when he sees Aubrey and gets to play with her. Their relationship is the best thing ever. Also, he recently just started being super lovey with his stuffed animals. He will give them kisses and hugs and lay on them. It just melts me. He melts me.

Sleeping is going really well. He usually only gets up once each night. I just go in, pick his binkie up from off the ground, lay it on his crib, and he bends down to get it and stays down and falls back asleep. Its THE best.

He also has been REALLY sensitive lately. Like REALLY. He will cry over the tiniest things in the world. Mataya playing peek-a-boo, Trevor throwing him in the air, me telling him 'no no' in a soft voice when he's on his way to climb the fire place or spitting out his food hahah. However, he has THE cutest boo boo lip in the entire world so its extremely hard for me to not laugh or almost like when he cries. Its just so adorable.

We went on a trip to Austin, Texas this month! I was a little nervous about him sleeping in a weird place, about how it would be without a kitchen, and about how he would get his usual naps in. Things changed a lot. Instead of him sleeping in a crib (which the hotel did have), he slept in our bed with us, instead of eating our usual protein pancakes in the morning, he had oatmeal baby food, and instead of two two hour long naps he would take maybe 1.5 naps that were like 30-45 minutes. Even though things were different, he was a pretty happy baby! Because I'm a germaphobe, he wasn't able to crawl everywhere like usual, but he still had fun. We all did. The hotel was super fancy and not really for kids, but we still went in it a lot. I think we were the only family in the entire hotel. It was like mainly for single attractive people in their high 20's and low 30's.

09.18.17

ten months old!

Crew seriously gets funnier each month he gets older. His personality is hilarious. His little laugh just melts me. He is the most ticklish little guy so you can make him laugh whenever and its the best.

He is crawling up furniture and stairs and all of the above. Mainly, his CRIB is his favorite thing to crawl up because he does it every single time he wakes up in the middle of the night. He also doesn't know how to get down so I have to go in there and get him down and hold his hand so he doesn't crawl up again. Its a special time. The one thing I've noticed lately is that when we let him cry for at least 20 min he will usually sleep through the night after that haha. Its so mean but worth it.

He's been having a blast every time we hang out at grandmas pool. He seriously could play in the pool for hours and hours if we let him. He is still taking two naps a day so its hard to be away for too long. He also LOVES Aubrey and Chelsi. His two favorite people. Chelsi had surgery this last month so he has had a hard time when she can't hold him.

Eating is still going well! He has loved everything except beefy gravy, which is nice cause it smells like literal cat food. BLEH. He still nurses 3 to 4 times a day and around 1 time at night (sometimes no times because he sleeps through, woot woot!). It will be interesting to me when he will want to stop. I'm hoping around a year but don't want to rush him. We are having a hard time learning how to drink out of anything other than my breast. He is starting to like the take and toss sippy cups but still isn't super excited about it. I think he may be a little constipated so he needs more water! It has been pretty hot and smoky lately.

We've done some fun things like go to mariners game with Damon's family. It was really fun but Crew really wanted to crawl around and suck on the plastic seats. Bleh. We ran a Spartan race! He got to chill with my mom for that. He slept the whole time. I think thats the longest Ive ever been away from him hahah like 2.5 hours. It's safe to say Damon and I need a date.

ANYWAYS, church is going well. It of course interrupts one of his naps BUT thank goodness Damon can get Crew to sleep on his lap/in his arms during a meeting. We are so thankful for that.

OH and an eclipse happened, Crew was napping.

Jared came home from his mission and Crew was the only baby who let him hold him. It was adorable. Last Sunday we saw him in the hallway at church and Crew laid on him and he wouldn't come to Damon or ME! For some odd reason I started tearing up (I was hormonal hahah).

Labor Day Crew Damon and I went to Maltby Cafe. It was weird not being at the Lake much this summer. We miss it a ton. BUT it was a lot of fun just hanging out with us three. We want to do it more. We also want to make some family traditions of our own. The holidays coming up will be a great time to do that. <3

9.07.17

sleep training, actually this time!

Crew had just turned 9 months old and we were doing pretty well with his sleep schedule, and by well, we were really just putting up with it. We were used to it at this point. Used to replacing the binky 5 times a night during dinner, used to going up to his room and rocking him back to sleep while we would try to unwind and watch a show, and used to getting up with him every 3 hours to feed him throughout the night. It wasn't the best situation but we were just used to it.

The day after he turned 9 months old we had his 9 month check up. We told the doctor his sleep schedule and she said "you know he is old enough to go throughout the night without being fed right?" I just hadn't realized that he was already old enough for that! I used to think he was starving every time he would make a noise if it had been more than 3 hours. She suggested that we have him cry it out so that he can learn how to fall asleep on his own.

I felt good about that suggestion and decided that it was the right time. That night everything changed. He cried it out for FORTY FIVE MINUTES. THIS WAS HELL ON EARTH. Like seriously if I was sent to Hell, that would be my reality, just having to hear my baby cry and cry and cry. Ugh. I was weak and picked him up one time in the middle of the 45 minutes but then he fell asleep. I decided I wasn't going to go cold turkey on the feeding. He was used to eating every 3 hours. So I chose to just feed him one time so about every 5-6 hours.

The next night got better! He only cried for 18 minutes going to bed, BUT then he woke up when it wasn't feeding time and had to cry for 50 minutes (crying face). It was horrible. Even thinking about it makes me sick. It was like from 4-5am. We weren't crying it out for naps yet, thank goodness so he didn't cry it out at all the next day.

Day three he only cried it out for 6 minutes! Then he woke up when it wasn't time to eat and he only cried for 12 minutes. BUT then he woke up again, cried for less than 8 minutes. Then AGAIN, and had to cry for almost an HOUR. That was SO hard.

Day four we started implementing naps because I didn't want him to get confused that he was rocked to sleep only sometimes. He did well, only cried for 8 minutes the first nap. But then 27 minutes the second nap. Putting him down to go to bed he only cried for 1 minute! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. Then he cried for 45 minutes in the middle of the night (sad face).

Day 5 he only cried it out for one nap for 13 minutes. He didn't even cry it out for going to bed. He woke up three hours after he went down and cried for just 6 minutes (YAY!). Then only 7 minutes the other time it wasn't time to eat and he woke up.

Things were FINALLY working!!

Day 6 was super great too. He only cried for 2 minutes for his first nap and only a couple seconds for his second nap. HOWEVER, then he got a nap in his car seat. I didn't think this would be a big deal but then he cried it out for more than a half an hour in the middle of the night. I have no clue why but I blame the car seat nap! hahaha

That leaves me to last night, day 7. Oh my goodness. Damon wasn't home and after a couple hours of sleeping he woke up and cried and then started getting on the crib bars which was pretty normal. EXCEPT, then he got all the way up them and stood up in his crib! The crib is still on the highest setting so he could very easily fall out. I didn't have the tools or the energy to try and fix the crib at like 11pm so Crew just slept in my bed with me. Thankfully he just went down for his first nap, didn't try and escape, and only fussed for 10 minutes. I thought we were going to have to start over after a night in mom's bed.

Damon gets back tonight and will fix the crib! I'm so happy that this is actually working for Crew. I just really want him to have healthy sleep habits. I want him to get a good, long full night of rest. I want him to be able to fall asleep on his own.

There are a ton of mom's who refuse to do this method of sleep training. I TOTALLY understand, 100%. If there is a way to get a baby to fall asleep on his own without this method, sign me up. But, a week or two of some fussing is what actually worked for us. Nothing else really worked, it was always me helping him fall asleep in some way. Now it's all on his own.

*Next baby: for my next one, I want to try and do this earlier without tears. Like train him or her to fall asleep on their own in the bassinet. Try to not hold them for too many naps. I want to try and avoid this method like the plague.

DAY 8 OH MY GOODNESS. You guys I thought it was going to be a horrible night because he had slept with me the night before but he slept through the whole night in his crib !!! He went down at 7:45pm and he wrestled around at 5:30am and I HAD to feed him because my chest was killing me. I think he probably could have slept in later but I was just super full of milk. I was up the whole night worrying and kind of in pain but he was sound asleep. Damon and I both had to check if he was breathing. My prayers have been answered. This sleep training processes did work for my little angel.

The next day he was so happy. He took two good hour and a half long naps! He cried for like 13 min for his first nap but then 30 seconds for his second nap and under a couple minutes to go down for the night. I feel like timing is everything for him to not cry for too long. I love my baby boy.

Hopefully him sleeping through the night will be a common thing from now on! I just need to sleep train myself to not wake up every 3 hours and worry about him!

07.26.17

9 months old and CRAZY

Starting to write this post stresses me out because I feel like I'm going to forget everything he's done this month! He has a whole new set of "skills." He is crazy!

He's been eating a lot more solids. Nothing has been irritating him at all so it's great. He doesn't seem constipated and now he will eat almost anything (baby and table food, yay!). Unfortunately, it means his stool is becoming a lot more adult-like, yay. He doesn't breastfeed a ton anymore which I thought would be easier but it's kind of harder! Going down to the kitchen and finding something baby-safe isn't always as convenient as just sticking him on. He now has two teeth so hopefully that is helping him with his solids.

Sleep is... whatever. I have a belief that babies need consistency to help them learn how to sleep through the night. That just isn't a top priority for us right now since we are traveling a lot. I'm just used to getting up with him. Crying it out, or any form of it really takes it out of me and its just not worth it to me at this point in time. We will worry about sleep when summer is over!

Just recently he has been waking up in his crib on all fours. Sometimes super happy and sometimes crying, like he still wants to sleep but he doesn't know how to get back to his back. It's really cute but this whole rolling over thing has made naps and diaper changes a lot more difficult.

He's been giving me SO many kisses. Just wide-open, slobbery mouth kisses. He "talks" so it makes noises on my face. It cracks him up. My favorite is when he laughs at me laughing. He has the best giggle when I'm actually really laughing vs my fake, silly mom laugh. I think its amazing that babies can pick up on that sort of thing.

We've been traveling a lot this month. We went to Cle Elum with the Chlarson/Anderson gang, the Pink House (twice), and to Ephrata.

July 12 at the Pink House, Crew learned to scoot! We got there around 8:30pm (past his bedtime) and set him on the floor and he started to go. He had never done that before. He used all his arm strength to scoot his whole body, like an inch-worm. 

July 14, two days later, he started to wave to everyone there. It was like he was holding back at home but once he got to the Lake it was time to show off his skills. Its so cute paired with his little scrunch face where he scrunches his nose and squints his eyes. It kills me.

The lake was a blast. That trip he also went on his first wave runner ride with me and Dame. At first he was a little skeptical but there was no fussing so we kept going. Once he got used to it, he was all smiles. He was OBSESSED with the water that trip. He loved to walk in it with us holding his hands. (Oh yeah he became a speed walker, with some assistance, overnight at the lake.) We sat him down in it and he splashed and ate some sand (mom's fault).  He wasn't too happy about the sand but was over it once we walked him around in the water some more. To every person he saw he was doing "the face" probably because he knows what reaction it will get. He does it so much you'd think it would be kind of painful haha. He was such a chill babe at the Lake, he really already loves just being there.

This month he has been extremely into his dad. Its not super fair because I'm still getting up with him a couple times a night.. BUT it's really cute. He now reaches for people and it's almost always to Damon. They have so much fun whenever they are together, I guess it makes sense. It works out that Crew LOVES the water just like his dad.

After the last lake trip we made a pit stop in Ephrata. Crew enjoyed watching all the kids running around. Him and Allis look pretty close to the same age now which it nuts because Crew used to look HUGE next to her. Ephrata is so gorgeous in the summer when the corn is in bloom. I never thought I would enjoy farmland as much as I do now. I can't wait to bring Crew there to enjoy summers each year.

7.18.17

the new Crew

This last week was the Fourth of July! We took our annual trip to the Pink House. Crew and I arrived Wednesday with my mom and Damon came Saturday.

Oh my goodness, the moment Damon arrived Crew's personality came out like crazy. He babbled non-stop and was the happiest baby. He didn't stop the whole trip. He constantly made this noise like he was surprised/ couldn't breath. It was really cute. He smiled at everyone in the room but got so excited when he saw Damon or I.

He rolled over every chance he got, including during diaper changes. One time he was napping and he rolled over on to his belly when he woke up. He just chatted. When I went to get him he had fit his leg through one of the crib bars! Whoops.

Another time in the morning we woke up and he was on his stomach and both his hands were on the bars like he was trying to get out hahah. The cutest thing he did was lift his blanket to cover his face and take it away to play peek a boo. We have videos, it was the best.

The ride home was actually really horrible. He screamed for two hours. He fell asleep for like 2 hours but then these people were blasting there music in Monroe and he woke up crying again. It was so sad. Usually he doesn't mind the car seat but he definitely did on the way home.

We are now home and he's been loving being back in his element. He's been sick for over a week so I'm hoping that will subside soon. I hate hearing him coughing. Poor baby has been such a good sport though.

7.06.17

8 months old

Crew boo, Crew bear, bubba, baby boy etc. is EIGHT months old! I swear he hasn't grown in like 5 months but then I look at pictures and he's become a little boy! What the heck.

He is SO full of personality these days, its the best thing ever. June 23 I finally witnessed him roll over from his tummy to back hahah finally! He is OBSESSED with big boy food now. Like if he sees someone eating he yells until they give him some. Its the cutest thing ever, but also a little more difficult in restaurants.

Damon and I went to Red Lobster the other day and he was trying to grab everything. We tried to occupy him with toys and the little tray they bring the rolls out in, nothing worked. He would yell when he didn't get what he wanted (food) and it wasn't a loud restaurant at all. We gave in and gave him a roll to suck on and some broccoli. Of course he made a mess. So it begins!

THE FACE. Oh my gosh, his little scrunch or crinkle face is the cutest thing in the world. He does it randomly and wants you to do it back to him. It kills me. He squints his eyes, scrunches his nose, and does this kind of smile with his mouth. Sometimes he'll even do a noise with it.

Today we went swimming at grandma's pool and he was in LOVE with the water. Just kicking away and splashing the water with his hand. He got his face soaked (and whoever was holding him). He never complained about being in the water. He probably could have been in it all day. It was such a great time. We were able to hangout by the pool for like 4 hours. I hope he always loves the water.

His sleeping schedule isn't my favorite. He still wakes up a couple times a night. It also doesn't help that our house is getting SO HOT! Damon is currently setting up Crew's little AC unit thank goodness. [Its 78 degrees in his room right now].

He still nurses a lot too which I love but we are trying a lot of new foods too.

6.24.17

almost 8 months

I've been writing a lot about the hard things about my experience of motherhood. I want to change that.

It is so easy to love that baby. It is so easy to have fun with him. It is so easy to make him smile and laugh. It is so easy to watch him sleep, and enjoy it.

I have no clue what I did to deserve that child. He is perfect. Other than his natural baby instincts, he is an ANGEL. He is so good when we go out and his "grumpy" is a lot of other children's normal temperament [at least that's what Damon and I have observed].

It is the absolute best to go get Crew from his crib after he's had a good nap or woken up for the morning. He has the most irresistible smile that will melt you. I probably kiss that baby over 300 times a day, no exaggeration.

This may sound weird, but I love the attention people give Crew. I love when strangers say how adorable he is, or say congratulations to me. The majority of people are good! I hadn't really believed that until I became a mom. People are helpful, kind, and happy for you.

My marriage has never been better. Once Crew was born, Damon and I stopped thinking only of ourselves. We had a common purpose. We were both obsessed the with that baby.

6.16.17

a bittersweet mistake

Two nights ago I woke up in a panic. My mommy senses woke up to Crew crying hard and the monitor was not on so I could barely hear him! It was 4am and I hadn't fed him since 10:30pm. I had no clue how long he was crying or anything. I had the worst mommy guilt I think I've ever had. I ran to his room and fed him and he woke up at 7am. He was okay but I still felt SO BAD.

Last night, he ONLY WOKE UP ONE TIME! I put him down at 8:30pm and he woke up at 2:15am and is still sleeping right now at 6:20am. I had to go in and check if he was breathing. It's the first time I actually feel rested and the first time a little baby didn't wake me up for the day. It feels incredibly weird. Its also Damon's birthday! Happy Birthday Damon, you get a rested and extremely happy wife! YAY!

Hopefully this will become a pattern. I still feel super guilty for the other night but I guess it kind of worked out.

6.15.17

is it possible for the CIO method to not work on all babies?

I think yes.

I followed all the "rules" and didn't go get him, didn't check on him etc. and it just wasn't getting better. Night 3 Damon and I decided we were going to stop doing this method. We aren't against letting him fuss for a little bit, but Crew just wasn't getting better at crying it out. It was still taking him 30 minutes at least to cry to fall asleep on night 3. I just wasn't doing that anymore. Especially when he would cry for naps which he took 3 times a day. That was just too much crying for me.

Okay so instead, I tried going back to the basics. I brought back the binkie. BUT I still don't swaddle him anymore. Although he hasn't rolled over from his back to his front, I'm sure he could. Bringing back the binkie was a good choice! He took it out but wasn't mad when he did. He fell asleep without it a couple times. He kind of just played with it.

Last night he had SIX uninterrupted HOURS of sleep. Oh my gosh, I woke up SO HAPPY.

Today is Sunday so we were all over the place all day. That baby only took one nap at home, poor kid. He took a 30 minute nap before church then a 30 minutes at church in my arms. Right after church we headed to my parents where I attempted to give him a nap. That did not happen. He was honestly SO good for only getting an hour of sleep the whole day. He fell asleep on the way home then we arrived and I fed him and put him down. At first he was fussy but I just tried to do everything without picking him up. I read him a book, replaced the pacifier, sang to him, and put my hand on his face/chest/hand. Slowly, I tried to get it so he didn't see me but could still hear me. Then eventually he didn't care that he couldn't see me and he fell asleep!

From this experience, it makes me wonder a few things. Maybe he doesn't need 3 naps a day that come to about 5 hours of sleep. Maybe I should put him to bed when he is REALLY tired like he was tonight. And maybe I should stop stressing about his sleep constantly ALL DAY.

He never gets super grumpy when he doesn't get a nap but I just want him to be the healthiest baby and I want him to have the opportunity to get as much sleep as he needs. My pediatrician told me to look for the signs of a tired baby so he isn't overtired when you put him down.

Before this experience I usually look at the time and if it's been 2 hours I have him take a nap. I didn't really see if he was tired. That will be my goal this week! He will hopefully still be getting the amount of sleep he needs.

Heres to a week of no crying and a healthy sleep schedule.

6.11.17

an unfortunate couple days ahead

We have to make our little guy cry it out. Ugh.

Well I guess we don't HAVE to. We need to. He has forgotten how to soothe himself and has been really wanting to nurse to sleep or only sleep in my arms. We decided if he is going to cry to learn to self soothe, we are using this time to get rid of the pacifier and stop swaddling him. He technically still hasn't rolled over from his back to his stomach but I think he is strong enough to.

The first cry it out day was yesterday morning. It took him just under 30 minutes, then the second nap he didn't cry at ALL. It was amazing. Both naps were 2.5 hours long. The night time was harder, which I expected. He cried for 30 minutes once again but slept really well. I only got up twice to feed him.

Today was different. He cried it out for his first nap and didn't sleep long at all. The "specialists" say that unless they sleep for an hour, don't go get them but let them cry themselves to sleep again. So I did that. 20 minutes later, he was back asleep. He slept for 2 hours but cried for 20 minutes in the middle of it. That doesn't sound like good sleep to me. Bleh. Anyways, for the second nap, he was actually really good and only cried for a little bit [thank goodness because I had friends over]. It wasn't that long of a nap, maybe an hour but I wasn't going to have him cry it out again. Then for his third nap, he went down pretty good again but it was only 45 minutes.

I HATE IT SO MUCH. Currently, he's been crying for 16 minutes and he is still going strong. People tell me that its a hard first couple days but its so worth it.

I know that this is the saddest thing in the world, but it will help him have healthier sleep, me have healthier sleep, and I know he isn't mad at me when he wakes up. I also know that it isn't "unhealthy" for him to do it. It's just extremely sad at the time.

06.09.17

crew is 7 months old

The last month with Crew has been a blast.

A couple days after he turned 7 MONTHS OLD, we went to the lake with my parents! The drive was super long for some reason. There were a lot of people traveling to Eastern Washington and we had to stop to feed Crew and change his diaper a time or two. Oh AND my dad forgot the key to the Pink House so we started driving back. Thankfully, at the perfect time, Gus called and said he might have a key we could use to get into my grandparents place and eventually get into the Pink House. We stopped at the Sultan Bakery while figuring this all out and got the most AMAZING BLT's. It was a blessing and a curse.

Anyways, Crew was a champ. I think it took us 7 hours to get there. While we were there, he actually slept really good. I had him sleep next to me in bed since Damon wasn't there yet [that made it SO easy to nurse him at night]. Once Damon arrived, he slept horribly. He hated the crib hahah. Figures. We dragged a twin bed into the room and put it on the floor for him to sleep on. He liked that more than the crib thank goodness.

When it comes to sleep, he hasn't improved much. Since we traveled this last month, he hasn't been sleeping his nice 4 hour stretches. It's mainly three and sometimes two. Yes, I'm tired. (:

My sister keeps saying just have him cry it out! I'm not quite to that point yet and I'm glad I'm not because this last Sunday, June 4th, in Sacrament meeting, I noticed he has THREE teeth poking out of his bottom gums! I could not believe it haha. He has been fussy sometimes but nothing too bad at all! I'm so proud of him.

OH my gosh. ALSO on Sunday, he started doing THE cutest face where he scrunches his nose and squints his eyes. Its hilarious. Last night he was doing it like it was our secret language. He would do it then I would do it, back and forth. I have no idea what he is trying to communicate by doing it but its absolutely adorable.

I am obsessed with seeing his little personality come to life. He isn't crawling yet but can pivot himself a full 360 degrees. He's on his way! He still hasn't rolled over from his back to his belly, so yes we still swaddle out 7 month old hahahah. He is still loving that pacifier and relies on it to go to sleep.

Baby food!! HE HATES IT. I understand him hating the beef gravy and carrot flavors but he won't even eat applesauce. He wants to grab the food off my plate. I may start trying to get him to eat less mushy foods. I'm guessing he hates the texture of baby food. He will suck on a whole strawberry for hours, but hates applesauce. Who would have thought...

06.06.17

distractions

I get distracted, a lot. Usually, its by things like household chores, or my mind wandering about when I will shower, cook dinner, or exercise. Lately, its been different. Its been about family. A couple weeks back we discovered my cousin had cancer. Cancer isn't rare in our family but she's 27 years old. We thought it was the best case scenario but then the news just kept getting worse. Surgery didn't go well and they discovered things we weren't ready to hear.

Today, I got a call from my mom saying that my brother's apartment had burned down. My brother is on a church mission. He's giving up two years of his life to serve the Lord. His journals and belongings were destroyed. 

This news is hard to hear as well. We have two missionaries out right now in our family. My brother and cousin. His sister is the cousin with cancer. In the church you often hear how your family will be protected and blessed as you have someone from your family serving a mission. With all this bad news, my faith is a little shaken on that statement. 

My husband is also sick with the flu or some sort of virus so I have single mom duty with Crew. I feel bad because my mind is no where near home. Its with my sick cousin. Its thinking about my brother and how hard of a time he is having right now. His home is gone. His things are gone. I want to be the absolute best mom I can be, every single day. I just don't know how to handle this all I guess. 

This must be what people mean when they say they need the Lord to carry their burdens.

Saying that out loud sounds dumb to me. I'm not even the one going through the trials. Its my cousin and my brother. Not me! My heart just hearts for them so badly. I love them both so much that it pains me that they have to go through this. It makes me wish it happened to me instead.

Sometimes life just isn't fair.

05.17.17

milestones

I don't get too into if Crew is doing the right things at the right time. I figure I'll try my best to teach him to roll over, sit up, crawl etc. and the rest is up to him. It doesn't worry me if he doesn't know how to do things that other babies his age already do. It makes him unique! For example, Crew is 7 months old next week and he can't roll over from his back to his tummy. He is a strong baby but he just hasn't done it yet. It actually is a blessing because he LOVES to be swaddled, it puts him right to sleep. If he could roll over from his back to his tummy, we really couldn't be swaddling him. 

Yesterday, May 12, he started actually accepting solid foods! I was such a proud momma. We've been trying solids for about 3 weeks and he has not been into it at all. He would just shut his mouth super tight so we couldn't get the spoon in there. We tried bananas, carrots, avocado, oatmeal, and baby oatmeal. It was actually really cute. The only thing he actually seemed to like one day was peanut butter.

Then yesterday, for some reason, he saw that spoon and opened his mouth so wide. I thought oh he will stop doing that once he realizes its adult food. Nope! He kept eating. Each bite he was oddly excited to eat. That day he enjoyed carrots (actual carrots, not pureed), a strawberry (he just sucked on it a ton), peanut butter, and a ton of baby oatmeal cereal before bed. It was the cutest thing. Just the day before that he refused to eat. I love him. 

He can sit up for quite a while now! May 1st was the first time we realized he could sit up on his own for a couple seconds. Now he can go a long while. It's so much fun seeing how much our little baby can learn in just a couple weeks!

Other cute things: he randomly fell asleep after waking up pretty early playing with toys. He also has kind of turned into a cuddler when he wakes up. Im a little obsessed with it. Each morning he goes in his little jumper and LOVES to jump to music. Its so much fun.


I can't believe he will be 7 months old next week. 

05.13.17

sleep sleep, what is that even ?

When I had Crew I knew that sleep was going to be minimal. I knew that at first he was going to need to be fed every 2-3 hours during the night. What I didn't know was that it would last up until 6 months old and longer! 

 Of course, I read a lot online about certain sleep training methods. "If you just let the baby cry for 3 hours straight you never have to feed him or her at night again!" Yeah not happening. Don't judge me but I DID try out the Ferber method. Crew sadly did cry it out, a lot! For more than 10 minutes haha. First time parents here so we are just doing what we think is best. Do I feel guilt for trying the Cry It Out Method? Sure! I feel horrible, HORRIBLE, when I can't save my baby from tears. Do I feel like I was abusive or wrong in doing it? No. 

So April 20th, we decided to try Crying it Out. We were sick of rocking him to sleep and him waking up when he hit the bed. He was 6 months old and 16 pounds so we figured it would go great! For Damon and I, it was like death. Seriously death. We started it the same night we decided to have him sleep in his own room (sniffle, sniffle). He cried for 30 minutes. The longest he cried during this process was 35 minutes. We tried it for about a week straight. Did we go in and soothe him a time or too? Yes. Did that mess everything up? Who knows, but I didn't care. 

He is the happiest in the morning!

Damon and I both noticed that he was not sleeping as good as he was before! It was seriously doing nothing good. Maybe we were doing it wrong! He wasn't sleeping through the night, he was waking up after 30 minutes which he hadn't done since he was a newborn. It was all just a mess. We attempted to take away the binkie but nothing improved still. Before this whole thing he was seriously the HAPPIEST baby ever. Since doing this he was pretty grumpy and fussy. A lot of people say oh it takes like 2-3 days if you let them cry until they fall asleep. Nope! Not us. We let Crew do that a lot! For every nap (he usually took 3 a day) and at night. Still nothing on day 6.

April 27th, I went visiting teaching. The lady we visit taught has a boy a little younger than Crew so we were all chatting about sleep training and whatnot. My partner told me that with her little girl she is fine to go to bed as long as she comforts her without seeing her. She like stands outside her door and talks to her. I hadn't tried that so I figured I would try that once we got home for his second nap.

It worked! I did our usual routine and instead of leaving and hearing him cry and cry, I stood behind his crib where he can't see me and sang him a song. Then once he would look away, I would escape. He fell asleep on his own without a peep! I've been doing that ever since and its worked like a charm. There are some times where I replace the binkie but I would WAY rather do that than listen to him cry. I'm writing this post on April 30th, so its only been three days, but I've also put him to bed 12 times in those three days so I'm very hopeful!

As of night times, it's pretty much the same. He wakes up every 3-4 hours. Which he's always done. Its only twice when I'm sleeping so it's really not bad. I feel like breastfeeding babies don't sleep through the night as easy as formula babies. I am willing to wake up for him. 

In the last couple days he's totally acted himself. Super happy and chill. Maybe Crying it Out would have eventually worked for him, maybe we'll have to do it in the future. But as of now, we are going to try and avoid it like the plague. <3

04.30.17

6 MONTHS OLD

Oh my heart.

My baby is 6 MONTHS OLD as of tomorrow at 2:43pm. I am not ready for this! I felt like as long as he was under 6 months, he was still practically a newborn, now he will be closer to one than zero!

He is honestly the best baby. He is so patient with his mom. We go out and about pretty often and he just goes with it. He only gets upset when he's hungry [thank goodness for that]. He weighs about 15.5 lbs! Last week we went in cause he's had diarrhea [I think?] and a pretty nasty cough. It was just a cold but we got to see how much he weighs. For some reason we don't own a scale.

Anyways, he is such a happy, smart little guy. He knows when we are joking with him, he knows when we are excited, and he knows when it is time to go to sleep. Every time he is laid down and swaddled, he is not the happiest. We're probably just too late putting him to bed. I've been trying to get him to fall asleep in the bassinet but its not happening. I even let him cry in there for 10 minutes today. Yeah, I gave in. (: The rocking to sleep continues.

He STILL wakes up every 3-4 hour to eat and poop. Lately, he's had this weird digestion thing going on where he strains so much while pooping so he has to be awake to go. He seems to need like 4/5 big pushes for anything to happen. Then it all looks super liquidy to me so I'm guessing it's diarrhea. It makes him fussy at night which has not been the most fun for Damon and I. We're hoping it passes soon.

During the day he eats when he wakes up, unless its been a super short nap. He naps for either 45 minutes or like 2 hours if I feed him when he wakes up after the first 45 minutes. Sometimes he won't go back down after I feed him. He naps usually after he's been awake for 2 hours. His bed time is usually 6:30pm. Tonight we are going to a Mariners game so it will be interesting! I'm sure we won't stay too long. It starts at 7pm.

Evenings are HARD on me. I want to do whats best for him but I also want to enjoy things that happen in the evening. We have a lot of family dinners that usually start at 5pm and go until later, I can usually just lay him down on a bed and he'll sleep. Or he'll sleep great in someone's arms. However, when it comes to baseball games, I'm not sure how well he will do. Who knows how he will do when he gets a little older and doesn't fall asleep in our arms. Then we may have to start turning in earlier.

He is so ticklish, I LOVE IT. He loves to play, so much. He loves to look at the pages when I read him books and for some reason he gets super calm when I sing to him. Sometimes I'll be weird and sing and dance in front of him and he thinks its HILARIOUS. I'm sure he's just making fun of me.

At 6 months he can:
-hold his head up great
-roll over from his tummy to back [still working on back to tummy]
-turn pages in hard books
-play very well with toys, he loves to play with his binkie and the noisy wipes
-laugh every time we play peek-a-boo
-play well in his little jumperoo my mom got him
-stand with his back against the couch without anyone's help

04.17.17

5 months old

I feel like 0-3 months is a newborn, 4 months is just a little older than a newborn, but 5 months, thats an actual BABY! I have a very cute 5 month old.

He is so much fun.

Our normal day:
Wake up around 7:45am. He doesn't cry, but he just starts talking and squealing until I come get him. When I finally do (for some reason I'm exhausted every morning), he gets the biggest grin on his face. He is the best feeling in the world. Then, I usually bring him into my bed and I try to get him to sleep a couple more minutes. When I fail at that, we play and laugh, then I feed him [still waiting until 6 mos to do any solids] and change his diaper.  We then get out of bed and I'll put him in the bouncy so I can get some food in me. He is such an angel and can play by himself for a while. Then its about time for his first nap. I change his diaper, feed him again, then give him the binky. Usually I then have to rock him for a little bit and he will get pretty sleepy, then I put him in his bed. Sometimes I can put him in his bassinet and he will go to sleep on his own, but rarely. For each nap and at night he sleeps in our room in the bassinet, I'm not sure when we'll put him in his own room.
He will sleep for about an hour [I like to workout and shower at this point] and wake up. I feed him, change him, then we play, maybe get a bath or listen to music while I eat lunch and he's in his little Bumbo-like seat. Then his next nap is usually like 1-3 hours; that determines if he gets another short nap before bed time. I LOVE the long naps. I miss him but I get so much done.

He has been super good at rolling over lately and loves to do it because Damon and I clap and get super excited when he does, its so fun.

He loves to watch little kids, especially his cousin Aubrey. She is SO cute with him. She likes to point to his eyes, nose, head etc. She's going through the cutest dancing phase and its so fun. Makes me excited for each of Crew's stages as he grows.

He still eats every 3-4 hours at night. When other moms say "yeah he/she's been sleeping through the night since he/she was 3 months old" I get pretty jealous. Someday I'll get a full nights sleep again, someday.
03.22.17

stress

As I previously mentioned, as of late, Crew has not been going to sleep perfectly. Before, probably around 2-3 months, he would wake up, I would feed him, we would play, then once he showed signs of being tired (or a couple hours passed by), I would just lay him down in his bassinet and he would fall asleep. It was SO easy!

A little after 4 months, he started this whole thing where he needs to be fed before he wakes up AND before he goes to sleep. Makes sense, he's getting bigger and needs more food. BUT, everyone knows that its a cardinal sin to nurse a baby to sleep and when he needs to eat again before the nap, he gets very sleepy. I tried to feed him like an hour before he goes to sleep and he just cried and cried like he was starving, so I would nurse him and he would fall asleep.

On the positive note, once he was asleep in my arms I could just lay him in the bassinet and he would be fine. BUT the main goal is to try to get the baby to go to sleep in the bassinet. Not be tricked into it.

So I've been pretty stressed about this. Do I not know him as well as I used to? Now he doesn't fall asleep when I sing to him or sometimes even when I hold him. The crying really gets to a mom too.

sidetone: [we tried the whole cry it out thing a couple weeks ago and it totally didn't work, he never fell asleep. We decided he was too young for that.]

Ive decided to stop trying to be the perfect mom. If i hold my baby so he doesn't have to cry and cry in his bassinet, I'm sure he will be okay. I doubt I'll have to hold him for him to fall asleep when he's 22.

The less stress he and I have, the better. That feeling of distress when he is crying just isn't worth it when we can both be happy if I give him what he wants.

This is not going to be my motto forever, but for now I think a 4-5 month old baby should get what he wants.

sidenote 2: [we are waiting to give him anymore solids because of the AAP standards to wait until 6 months, also when he tried solids it didn't make him sleep any better.]

03.10.17

baby life 0-4mos

As I slowly settled into motherhood, I didn't realize how much sleep would affect me, or a lack thereof. Crew wasn't even a bad sleeper! He was pretty normal, ate every 2 hours and slept in his bassinet really well. I guess before him I had relied pretty hard on a good 7-8 hours of sleep. Now waking up so often made me exhausted, for the whole day!

I got used to it pretty quickly. We were still staying at my mom's house so I wouldn't come out of the room until noonish every day because Crew would sometimes just keep sleeping and so I would too. Being cramped in one room with all our stuff and the baby's stuff wasn't my favorite. We bought a house but it didn't close until November 1st, and Crew arrived October 18th AND it needed a lot of work so we didn't end up moving in until February 4th.

Crew's circumcision was not the best experience for me. The doctors asked if we wanted to be in the room and Damon and I both said yes. Then once he started fussing a tiny bit from the doctor undressing him I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it and left. After it was all done, the doctor came and got me. Crew would not stop crying for a while. Nursing him didn't even help. It was so sad.

Aside from that experience, he really was an angel newborn. He only cried when he needed something and once he got it he stopped. He never cried for no reason which was really nice for us (such a blessing). When he would wake up to eat, he would more moan for food instead of cry. Long story short, we rarely heard him cry.

He loved getting his diaper changed, looking in the mirror at himself, and his binky really calmed him down. He took a binky at 3 weeks old without a fuss. It has definitely been a life saver, probably too much of one to where it will be hard to ween him off but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Having a little human control my life took some getting used to. I was really happy to take care of him all day long, but it was really nice when Damon would come home (it still is). I actually had a hard time remembering to feed myself because I was so focused on baby Crew. My body would forget that it was hungry or something. I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight pretty quickly then got even lower than it. Thank you breastfeeding. My parents said I was looking too skinny so I made it a priority to start eating more.

At 1 month old he was 9 pounds 6 ounces. He's always been super good at holding his head up. I remember the same day he arrived he laid on my chest and held his head up to look around. My dad thought something was wrong with him cause when he was held he would crank his head back to see what was going on behind him. He would always say "HOLD that baby's head!" when it was really Crew throwing it back. He would get the cutest smile when he was "milk drunk." It was the best thing ever. He also would smile in his sleep, that was the best.

At 3 months old he was around 13 pounds. He started moving his arms a ton and kicking his legs when he was excited or upset. He loved to be sang to and was smiling, cooing, and laughing at this age. My dad now says "he is SO stiff! Bend baby!" But we just call him really strong because he sticks out his legs straight when you hold him in the air. At 4 months old he went down to around 12 pounds and is 25 inches. He rolled over from his belly to his back sometime in January (we can't remember the exact date) and again Feb 9th (remember that one) and hasn't done it much since then (its March 9th). We thought he was teething around 4 months but he is probably just a slobbery baby who was trying to get used to a new house.

He went through a nice peeing without a diaper for his first couple months of life, now he just pees in the bath (every time).

He still wakes up about 3 times each night to eat (he is almost 5 months). He used to be pretty easy to put down for a nap but it has been a STRUGGLE. Ive had to nurse him to sleep the past couple days and it KILLS me because I know how bad of a habit that is. I just don't want him to be hungry (crying face).

We attempted to give him some solids to see if that would help him sleep longer, NOPE. So we aren't giving him any more since we also recently discovered that its not the best to feed a baby solids who is younger than 6 months (whoops).

03.09.17

home

Our first night with our baby boy I was on a total high. I was just so happy that he was finally here. Crew was such a great nurser! I had a bit of a struggle and chose to use a nipple shield. I used that for the first month I think (no later than that).

My grandparents (Gary and Pat) came to visit and brought him the cutest little stuffed bear.

The next day we were ready to go! Especially once nurse Allison left. We had a certain nurse who shall remain nameless who had us excited to get home. We attended a dumb little class on some basics, it was nothing we didn't already know so we left early (we used Crew's small whimper of a cry as our excuse to leave).  I took a quick shower, we filled out some paperwork, and we were ready to go. Damon went and grabbed the car seat out of the car and we had a little bit of a struggle getting him in there but we did it and were off.

I was honestly surprised of how physically comfortable I was. I mean I obviously was pretty tender, but I expected a lot worse once the epidural wore off, Tylenol and Ibuprofen did just fine for me.

Damon and I left with our tiny little baby in the back seat. He was pretty scared to drive, it was cute. We were starving so we took a pitstop at Red Robin. Everyone was pretty shocked that we took him out at a day old but I felt fine with it. Its not like I was passing him around to the waitress and busboy. He just stayed in his little seat covered or I held him. No big deal.

Once we got home (to my parents house) it was such a sigh of relief. We had some visitors (Kari Ali and the boys) and got all settled in. My mother was a great help and Damon got to take a few days off work. Sleep was minimal but we were so in love so that didn't matter.



03.08.17

crew's birth story

Crew Damon Chlarson was born October 18th 2016. His mommy guessed that he would be born today but did not realize that she would guess correctly! 

At about 7:30AM that morning I started having intermittent back pain that was keeping me awake. I wasn't sure if I should time the pains because I thought that back pain was just a normal part of pregnancy (especially in the third trimester). I, of course, turn to google for some "back labor" questions and found a couple people saying to time the pains, so I did!

At 7:36AM, I began to track them on my "Labor Signs" app. I was in pain but i had breaks. I texted Damon but didn't want him to come home from work just yet so I was pretty nonchalant about it. I texted my mom the same way and she came in my room and watched me through a couple of these episodes. She and I decided that this wasn't just back pain but that I was going into labor. I called the hospital and told Damon to come home. Unfortunately, Damon got behind someone slow and hit every red light on the way home. Keep in mind, since 7:36AM, until I stopped tracking the pains at 8AM, they were each less than 5 minutes apart and were just getting more and more intense. I was pretty close to have Damon get another ride to the hospital. 

He finally arrived and the pain was BAD and not far apart at all. The drive to the hospital was pretty silent. I couldn't speak, I was in so much pain with each contraction. I didn't get much of a break, they were around 15-20 seconds apart. Oh! And the bumper to bumper traffic on Bothell Everett Highway and the 405 didn't help. You always think that when you're in labor you have the right to honk and freak out if you're in traffic, i knew that behavior wouldn't quite work in this situation, worst timing ever. 

We got to the hospital after the longest 33 minute drive of my life. I went to the Maternity Center front desk and the lady saw my discomfort and shortly after introduced me to my nurse, Allison. Oh Allison, if i were having a girl I literally would probably have named her Allison because of this nurse. She was amazing.

In the hallway i let her know that i wanted an epidural ASAP. Once we were in the room, she had 100+ questions for me. I answered some and ignored some because I was still dying from contractions. She checked my cervix and I was at an 8! I still needed my epidural, I was not too patient about that. She got the anesthesiologist in the room pretty soon after. 

This guy was... not my favorite. Super friendly and all but I would have probably yelled at him if I took out my anger/pain in that way. He comes in and gives me a small talk and I tell him that I want the epidural now. He gets the show on the road and while he is inserting it (and i am dying in pain from what feels like one agonizing non-stop back contraction) he chooses to discuss the college football rankings with my husband! Sounds so innocent but if anyone knows how I feel about talking football and how it feels to be in labor, they would understand me. 

The epidural kicked in but only for half of me: I still was feeling contractions in half of my body. I also felt pretty nauseous and did each time the nurse pushed the epidural button. Allison was awesome and tried getting the medicine on both sides by turning and massaging me. Unfortunately, it didn't work and we needed an anesthesiologist to come help reposition the epidural.

This new guy was the best. Once he repositioned it and gave me a little boost of medicine, I felt just fabulous. Maybe too fabulous. I started to feel extra sleepy and it was hard to keep my eyes open. Allison didn't want me going to sleep and gave me some oxygen. From this point on I felt amazing. My nausea was gone and I just got to hangout with Damon, mom, chelsi, and Peggy numb from the waist down. 

Once pressure started occurring, the nurse said it was getting closer to try and push. She checked me said the head was right there. From that point on she was trying to get the doctor to come in for me to push! She and I did a couple test pushes which helped me know what to do. Once the doc came, I was ready to push. Allison was such a great guide and made it possible for me to have this baby. She told me when and how to breathe, I would have no clue how to without her. With no pain, I got the baby out. It was not easy, but it was painless. I was so grateful for that. I got to feel his head between pushes, that about put me to tears. 

Once I saw him come all the way out I couldn't keep it together and broke down. It was the happiest moment of my life. Damon and I cried together. It was so special. The baby went right to my belly for the skin to skin contact but then right away to the NICU staff who were set up in the corner of the room. 

During labor I heard the doctor talking about possible heart problems and about how my placenta was ruptured already and something about too much blood in the amniotic sac. The NICU checked the baby, said he was fine, and left the room. Then I got to hold my baby for a couple hours after he was born. It was the best thing ever. He had blonde hair and his daddy's nose. Every bit of the pain and trouble felt that day and in the past 9 months was way more than worth it. 

6 pounds 14 ounces
19.25 inches
2:43 PM








3.08.17